This is a blog that, in part, documents specific spots around Portland OR that are either conducive to, or antethical to, getting laid. Be you man or woman, be you looking for cock or cunt. Doesn't matter. I've been all of the above (sort of), and I'm looking for all of the above. I'm all about equal opportunity.

The other part of the website is just an excuse for me to talk in graphic detail about my sex life and the sex lives of those around me. Portland is a hedonistic motherfucking town, and it likes it's booze and booty. I'll be creating search terms and tags as I go, but for now I'm just going to blog spot by spot, as I go there. You can run a search for a place you're headed to, or run a search for what you're looking for (like, you know, anal sex). Some of these posts are going to be ridiculously explicit. Not all of them, but some of them. Just as a heads up...

Friday, October 21, 2011


Yes, I'm starting with the building I work in. Why? Because it's where I've most recently had sex, so it's fresh in my memory. How does this benefit other people? It doesn't. Fuck off. It's my blog.

Having sex at work is a debatably stupid thing to do for most people. The risk of getting caught and fired, which is actually what seems to turn most people who do it on, is NOT negligible, regardless of what shift you work. I happen to work swing shift in an office that keeps regular business hours, so it's a little easier for me. But there's still cleaning crew, surveillance cameras, security guards, and the random coworker who forgets something at work. And I'm not actually turned on by the risk of getting caught and fired. I'd really rather not deal with one of my coworkers seeing me in flagrante delicto, the security guards SO don't need confirmation of their fantasies, and I'd feel incredibly bad traumatizing the sweet grandmothers who clean my floor. So why do I do it?
Every time it's happened it's been an accident.
I swear! Ok, there was that one time with the guy who had the fantasy about ethernet cables... See, we were at the beer bar down the street, called Baileys (which will get its fair share soon enough, believe me), and things were getting rather hot and heavy. He knew where I worked, and what I did for a living. The fact that I was a computer nerd turned him on to no end. I knew this, but I didn't know why. Till that night. He'd had about 3 strong beers, and was feeling it. He wasn't drunk, but he was definitely uninhibited. We were talking about nerdy things, books and computers and the like (heh. That sounds so patronizing and stereotypical. Sorry), and he leans in close and asks me, in a low, husky whisper, if I worked with Cat5 Cable (ethernet cable). I leaned back a bit from his boozy breath and gave him a considering look. I could tell that this was important to him, though I still had no idea why. I could also tell he had a raging boner, which was distracting, to say the least. So, with my eyes on that boner, I said yes. And watched it twitch and swell. At this point, I was lost.
See, my kryptonite has always been other peoples desire. When I see it, especially in someone I'm already attracted to, I am drawn along in its wake, with very little control over my actions.Which is why I'm generally very careful about whose desire I'm seeing... but anyways, I was at a point where anything would have seemed like a good idea, as long as it involved the cock that was writhing under those pants being set free at some point soon.
I looked back up at him, and he had a glazed look in his eyes. I laughed, and asked him why. But I asked him why in a husky, knowing whisper, because I had my suspicions. He turned red, pulled back, and said "Nothing. No reason."
I pulled back a bit as well, put my hand on his thigh, and turned back to my beer. We sat and sipped our beer in silence for a couple minutes. And I kept my hand on his thigh, higher up, never moving except for a slight stroking with my fingers. And I could feel this energy building up in him. He kept stealing little glances at me, and I'd be staring ahead with a completely innocuous expression on my face. But always with the warmth of my hand and teasing brush of my fingers. After about 5 minutes, he broke. He leaned towards me again, a dangerous maneuver in the bar stools we were sitting in, and put his hand on the back of my neck. He kept it there, and proceeded to tell me he'd always had a fantasy about being tied up with cables while sitting in an office chair and having his dick sucked. He said it quickly, more than a little ashamed and afraid of ridicule, but also breathlessly excited. And I sat there, with his hand on the back of my neck, and was completely overcome with desire. I'm pretty sure my pupils dilated like they'd just been hit by a beam of light. I just said "come with me". We'd already paid for our still mostly full beers, so we got up and left.
It was a cold November evening, raining of course, and it hit us hard after the steamy warmth of the bar. We were neither of us dressed appropriately. I grabbed his hand and pulled him across the street, in the direction of my work. We didn't say anything, just held hands and walked through the rain. I want to say that the tension built as we neared my building, but in reality the only thing that built was my nervousness. Like I said, I'm not a danger seaking sort of gal, and my coworker was going to be there doing his job that night. We got to my building, went through the front doors, and were immediately accosted by a security guard. Who's my friend, and who just wanted to say hi. Didn't help with the nervousness, though. On the way up to my floor in the elevators, he wanted to kiss me. But I pulled away, laughing uncomfortably, knowing there were cameras in the elevator. When I pointed that out to him, he got even more excited. Crap. He was one of those guys. I suddenly got worried that he was going to make it difficult for me to keep this discreet.
I came this close to backing off, saying it wouldn't work. He didn't even know what IT was yet, though he had a pretty good idea. But then I looked at him, and he was glowing like a kid in a candy shop. And I thought "how often does this get to happen? How often is one granted the ability to fulfill such an intense fantasy with so much relative ease?", and I regained my sense of fun in this enterprise. I wasn't as turned on (fear is not an aphrodisiac for me), but I was feeling mischievous and powerful.
We got off the elevator at my floor, and I led him to my office. We went in through the back way, into the secondary office area. My coworker would be in the main one, separated from us by a doorway and a whole bunch of printers and office equipment. I stopped in a dark corner, told him to stay there, and went off to find my coworker. I went back in through the front door, making a bunch of noise, and he popped his head out from his cubicle. I pretended surprise, and went over to chat. "Oh, I'm just picking up some stuff I forgot. What's up here? Anything interesting?", quickly determining that he was indeed, alone, and bored, and watching movies on his laptop. Perfect. There was no reason for him to come to the back room tonight, and it was late enough that the cleaning staff would all be long gone. I yawned, said I needed to get home, left through the front door, and ran to the back door. I found him exactly where I left him, and went up to him and we started kissing. He quickly had me backed up against a desk, and things were getting pretty hot and heavy, but I wanted to focus on his fantasy. I pulled back, grabbed his hand, and looked around for a good spot. There was a corner in front of us, enclosed on three sides by huge bookshelves, with a chair and desk inside it. Perfect. I led him over to the chair, pushed him down, and told him to close his eyes. He was pretty much vibrating at this point. I left him and went to our IT supply closet. I grabbed three 25ft cables, bright orange and yellow, and brought them back. His eyes were still closed, and he was leaning back in the chair with his pelvis thrust forward, cock bulging under his jeans. I trailed my fingers along it, enjoying the feeling it of pulsing rather desperately, then ran my hand up, along his arm, pulling it down off the arm of the chair and behind him. He opened his eyes at that and I rapped him on the leg, telling him not to peek. He obediently closed his eyes again, and I did the same thing to his other arm. I walked behind him, caressing his shoulders and chest, then running my hand down his arm again, encouraging him to bring them both back a bit more. I ran a cable loosely around both wrists a couple of times, just enough to get it to hold there on its own. Then I took both ends and wrapped them around the arms of the chair, tightly. I took another cable and wrapped it around his chest and the chair multiple times. I was going to use the third for his feet, but realized quickly that would rather defeat the purpose of our game. None of the cables were wrapped tightly enough that he couldn't get out of them quickly. I was still thinking of the cleaning crew at this point, just in case.
But they were tight enough that he could flex against them, know that they were there with every movement. And the sense of being tied up, false as it may have been, totally did it for him. I was on my knees in front of him at this point, looking up at his face. And it was slack with need, head tilted back, eyes closed, mouth open on panting breath. It was hot, and I felt powerful. I continued watching his face as I slowly undid his zipper, saw his mouth close on a gulp as the zipper made it's slow, difficult way down his raging erection. I had him lift his hips a little, so I could get his jeans pulled down off his hips, but I left them tight around his knees, confining him. I leaned forward, blew on the tip of his cock, and told him to open his eyes and look at me. He did so, slowly, and I watched his eyes dilate. He flexed his arms, testing the strength of his bonds, and stared at me the whole time. I kept my mouth close to his cock and my eyes on his, and I felt it brush my lips with every rush of blood, straining to be inside my mouth. I smiled, leaned forward a bit, and took him completely inside my mouth in one intense rush. He gasped, threw his head back, and strained at the cables. I could tell he wanted to put his hands on my head. I pulled back away slowly, and looked up at him with just the tip in my mouth. And I could feel such a sense of... fulfillment from him. This is why it was hot. It wasn't just the desire, the blowjob. It was the sense of safety, and of a fantasy long hidden, ashamed of, pulled out into the light and fulfilled. I gave him what was quite possibly the longest blowjob I've ever given anyone, pulling back every time he was about to come, making him beg for it. I pulled my breasts out of my shirt, leaned forward, and fucked him with my tits, sucking on the tip of him every time it thrust up through my breasts. That's how he came, eventually, covering my breasts with his cum, gasping and straining against the cables to the point that they started to unravel, legs quivering and jumping. I watched him the whole time, feeling his cum shoot up along my throat and hitting my chin, looking up the line of his body and watching it twitch. It took him a little bit, but eventually he opened his eyes and looked down at me. With a huge grin on his face.
I'd been a little worried that he'd feel... guilty, or dirty. Sometimes people can't deal with a fantasy that's been hidden for so long being pulled up into reality. It might be hot, but sometimes the after effect is shame.
Not for this guy, thank god. I laughed with delight, jumped up, and got him some paper towels, cleaning myself up in the process. I untied him, and we stayed there chatting for a little bit, talking about what it felt like for him, how he reacted, where the fantasy had come from.
Talking about it actually got him so turned on that he got hard again. He looked down in surprise, looked up at me, smiled, and turned me around so I was facing the desk. He pushed me down, lifted up my skirt,put a condom on, and fucked me incredibly hard. This was a problem for me, because I'm nothing if not a screamer, especially doggy style. But I grabbed our coats, shoved my face into them, and came trying not to scream.

I never actually saw him again after that. It was about 2 years ago, and neither of us made any effort to contact the other after that night. For me, I knew I didn't want to date him, and I didn't think further contact after such an intense experience would be helpful in making sure that was clear. For him, I don't know. I have a feeling it was to maintain that sense of fantasy perfectly fulfilled, to keep it sharp and clear in his mind, unmuddled by other sensations. He actually emailed me not that long ago, on OkCupid. It was kind of hilarious, and adorable. He started off with "Hey!! You probably don't remember me, but I soooo remember you. I just wanted to say, that night in your office building was, and still is, the hottest thing I've ever experienced. Thank you :D. Hope life is treating you well!" and signed it. I have in my phone as T-Ethernet tieup guy, and I get a little grin on my face every time I pass his contact info.

So, sometimes, rarely, but sometimes, taking the risk and fucking someone at work is worth it.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

What I want this to be vs What this will probably become...

There's a whole history behind the word "promiscuous" (personal history, that is. I know there's a whole NOTHER history revolving around its use in the everyday world, but that's not what we'll be discussing here) as it pertains to this blog, but I'm in the mood to wax philosophical so that'll have to wait.
Suffice it to say, this blog is dedicated to describing the many and wonderful places in Portland OR where it's easy to get laid. If you've got the right skill set and a little bit of determination, that is.
It'll be mostly my personal experience, highlighting great spots and giving a bit of a review and story. But eventually I'd like to get the input of other people. I'll probably end up giving too much advice and sounding preachy, because I tend to do that a lot when it comes to this sort of thing. But it's IMPORTANT, this being able to go out and meet like minded individuals who are going to have sex with you! It's not something to be completely left to the whims of chance and alcohol.
I'd like to tailor this blog to people who might actually read it and benefit from it, but that's not going to happen, unfortunately. I'm an atypical nerd, and I write like one. Sadly, most of the nerds I know don't make it a priority to analyze and give structure to the fundamental and basic need of finding a sex partner. It would be SO MUCH EASIER if they did. God. And that's a completely selfish complaint on my part, since I happen to be more attracted to nerds than anything else, and it gets fucking difficult to stalk them in their natural habitat.

Anyways. This blog will be 1/4 review site, 1/4 stories, 1/4 personal meanderings, and 1/4 whatever pops to mind in the moment. On to the reviews!